Puppet Skit Christian Vegetables

Well, howdy there. I'm Bubba. Welcome to our show sponsored by Bubba's Bar B Q. We want to thank Bubba's Bar B Q for the new choir robes even though the choir director don't really like the red pig or the Bubba's Bar B Q printed on the back. Grab yourself a cup of coffee and sit a spell with Bubba, while we cook some good stuff. (looks off stage) Do I have to wear this monkey suit? I feel plum stupid. Dey said if I wanna have a cookin show I gotta look like a cook. All the cooks down at the Bar B Q wear overalls and an apron. But ya gotta do what ya gotta do. Anyhow, most of the time I like to cook Southern. Ya know good ole' tomaters and corn bread and collard greens. But today I'm gonna cook Christian. Now I know there's not much difference 'tween good ole , Southern cookin' and Christian cause Southern food is just heavenly stuff. And beside that if ya eat Southern you'll get ta heaven a whole lot quicker than everybody else, cause all dat grease is bad fer ya. But anyhow taday I'm gonna talk about some vegetables every Christian has just gotta have. 

Like these squash. Now if I was cookin' Southern. I'd slice dem babies nice and thin and sprinkle 'em with corn meal and fry 'em til they 'uz nice and brown. But I'm not cookin' Southern, no sire, I'm cooking Christian vegetables. Did ya know ever believer needs ta squash sin. Ya know what I mean? Ya gotta squash all that bad stuff in ya life and a good place to start is with selfishness, meanness and disobeying ya parents.

Don't laugh this is serious stuff, all you folks out there need ya Christian vegetables- like lettuce. Lettuce ain't just for rabbits and fancy folks, no sir-re. Lettuce if for Christian folks too. Ya need lettuce lots and lots of lettuce. Lettuce love da Lord our God with all our heart and all our soul and all our strength. Loving the Lord is not som'em you talk about, ya gotta do it. Lettuce love the Lord a whole lot!

Then peas, ya gotta have peas (peace). what's a Christian without peas (peace)? Especially when times are rough. I'm probably not making a bit of sense, ya know what peas (peace) is don't ya? No, ya don't find it in the can on the shelf, ya find from knowing God. Ya find it in da Bible. The Bible says, "my peas (peace) I leave with you. God don't want ya ta be afraid, He wants ya to have His peas (peace) .

And den der's beans. I can't forget the beans, now let me  ask ya a question. Have you bean (been) in the word lately? Oh,  ya take time every day to read ya Bible. Even if it's just a few verses. Don't ya ever let folks say dat ya don't know beans about da Bible.

Oh, my don't forget  de beets, ya do eat beets don't ya now? Haven't even seen a beet? Well, they are bright red and usually sliced and pickled. They are so tasty and just beautiful lying there on ya plate. But believers need their beets to live  the life of a winner. Faith beets fear every time. Kindness beets indifference. Love beets hatred. Ya get the picture!

This hat looks sa silly. Do I look like a clown? One of my fav-O-rite vegetables is turnips. Oh, baby! Now dat's go-od eatin'! Now turnips are good 'nough to make a pig squeal. I like da green tops cooked with the roots and den a big ole hunk of corn bread and a big ole glass of ice tea. Oh, ya talk 'bout good. But that's southern and I'm suppose to be talking Christian here. You need to turnip for church every time dey have it. With so many places to go and things to do, some folks miss church. Dat's why ya need turnips. Ya boys and girls need to turnip for church on Sunday morning. Yes, ya do! And turnip with ya offering and ya Bible. Yep,  that's a mighty fine thing to do! Talkin' 'bout turnips, I think I'll see if I can fix me some turnips for supper. Bye!

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A Different Twist- Believer's Menu

Maybe you don't want your Chef to be Southern, maybe you want him to be a bit sophisticated give him a French accent and try a little different version of the same skit.

Good a morning, my sweet little vegetables. Oh, I love you all. Ze beautiful yellow squash and ze lovely little green peas. Oh, excuse me, I forgot I had guest. Welcome! Welcome! I have been gathering vegetables that every believer shoulda have every day. Oh, yes, ze vegetables are very important for anyone, but especially de believer. You laugh, you say what vegetable ya talking 'bout you silly chef. Vegetable for believer, silly talk. No, ya just listen to me for a minute and you'll agree. 

First, let ze chief recommend ze squash. Every believer needs to squash ze sin in ze life. Ya see what I mean? Zat be very important to squash ze selfishness, ze meanness and ze disobedience. 

Next ya need ze lettuce. Ya need lots and lots of ze lettuce. Lettuce love ze Lord our God with all our heart and all our soul and all our strength. Ya gotta have da lettuce.

 Oh ze peas, sweet little peas. Ya need ta have ze peas. The Bible says, "and the peas (peace) of God will rule and reign in your heart. No, no, not the peas in the can. Canned peas no good. Ya need ze peas (peace) that comes from ze Bible. Peas is knowing God will take care of ya no matter what is happening all around ya. Ya got to get ze peas (peace) of God.

And ze fat purple turnip. Couldn't find ze turnip, ah? Well, they're finicky little fellows. They only grow at certain times of ze year and certain places, so you can't always count on finding ze little fellows. Kinda like ze boys and ze girls on Sunday morning. With so many places to go and things to do, ze  boys and ze girls need to turnip for church on ze Sunday morning. Yes, ya do! And turnip with ya offering and ya Bible. Yes, now that's a mighty fine thing to do!

Oh, and ze beans. I can't forget ze beans, cause I must ask ya dear child have you bean (been) in the word lately? Oh, that is so very, very important that ya take time every day to read ya Bible. Even if it's just da few verses. Now my dear children, don't every let it be said, dat ya don't know beans about da Bible.

Beets, ya do eat beets don't ya now? Haven't even seen a beet? Well, they are bright red and usually sliced and pickled. They are so tasty and just beautiful lying there on ya plate. But believers need their beets to live  the life of a winner. Faith beets fear every time. Kindness beets indifference. Love beets hatred. Ya get the picture! Speaking of ze beets, I must go beet the eggs for ze souffle.